Something to think about...

Just a few more days until BIG starts. I've been anxious to get started. I've been thinking about the last time I did a large scale work. It probably has been 10 years. It was a mural on the outside of a building.. I never found any pictures of it.. It isn't there anymore.. It didn't last long. The business changed and the painting was painted over a boring neutral color.

The original mural my mother and I worked on. It had numerous birds intertwined in vines. I remember especially a pair of love birds I painted at the very top.

That mural experience seems to have fallen into solely the destruction.. I have to wonder if part of my fear of painting BIG has to do with the fact that nothing I've done BIG has survived.. All my highschool projects I tended to go above and beyond and BIG.. and they all ended up tossed..

I do think of one lonely painting every once in a while.. It was 18x24.. A former highschool history teacher asked to keep it and have it framed. It was an illustration of the Black Plague that I did to go along with a paper I wrote. She also kept a giant map I made of Europe, probably 5 ft x 4ft, made of felt. I've always been thankful for that teacher's interest in my work..

So now I sit here thinking about those two pieces that have survived.. they are out there somewhere.. perhaps used as teaching aids in lessons..

And yet every time I stare at a piece of paper or canvas.. I look up at the quote above.. Reminding me that it's ok to move forward and just make a single mark..

I don't want to be scared of the whiteness anymore..

Answering BIG Questions

So before the FEARLESS Painting: BIG gets started next week, Connie, the host of the workshop wanted the tribe to answer some questions.

Here we go.

Question One. What does going BIG look and feel like to me?
-- BIG at first seems overwhelming and scary. I've always been hesitant to work on a grand scale. It also looks inviting, knowing the support of others will be nearby. Knowing this isn't an impossible task, no one expects perfection.

Question Two. What scares me about BIG?
-- When I look at a large white canvas, I fear destroying it. I fear ruining the pristine crispness of the white with something that ends up muddy and uninviting. I've posted a quote in my workspace to help with this fear. "Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction. - Pablo Picasso" I use this to remind myself that I'll never take a leap forwards without making that first step.

Question Three. What excites me about BIG?
-- I imagine the freedom that will come along with not confining myself to small pieces. Like Connie said, I have to stop hiding behind the little pieces. I am excited to move around and really involve my Whole self in the piece as it speaks. I look forward to having the piece speak and being able to follow along without fear of judgement.

Question Four. What BIG things in my life have I already done?
-- I have taken an extra bedroom to dedicate to the arts. When I had limited space, or had to drag everything out to work, I used it as an excuse to not make anything at all. Now I can't use that - I have this space I can escape to and wait to see what happens.

Question Five. What BIG things do I dream of doing?
-- I wait for those moments that I can't Wait to step foot in my space. The moments where I lost track of time while working on something I am truly passionate about.


So these are the things I'm thinking about while waiting on the course to start. I'm getting excited.. gathering supplies.. anxious to get started..

anxious to see what happens..

Let's get started

Here I am, ready to get started on my new painting adventure. FEARLESS painting, BIG workshop, hosted by Connie H from http://www.dirtyfootprints-studio.com/.. More to come!