Just a few more days until BIG starts. I've been anxious to get started. I've been thinking about the last time I did a large scale work. It probably has been 10 years. It was a mural on the outside of a building.. I never found any pictures of it.. It isn't there anymore.. It didn't last long. The business changed and the painting was painted over a boring neutral color.
The original mural my mother and I worked on. It had numerous birds intertwined in vines. I remember especially a pair of love birds I painted at the very top.
That mural experience seems to have fallen into solely the destruction.. I have to wonder if part of my fear of painting BIG has to do with the fact that nothing I've done BIG has survived.. All my highschool projects I tended to go above and beyond and BIG.. and they all ended up tossed..
I do think of one lonely painting every once in a while.. It was 18x24.. A former highschool history teacher asked to keep it and have it framed. It was an illustration of the Black Plague that I did to go along with a paper I wrote. She also kept a giant map I made of Europe, probably 5 ft x 4ft, made of felt. I've always been thankful for that teacher's interest in my work..
So now I sit here thinking about those two pieces that have survived.. they are out there somewhere.. perhaps used as teaching aids in lessons..
And yet every time I stare at a piece of paper or canvas.. I look up at the quote above.. Reminding me that it's ok to move forward and just make a single mark..
I don't want to be scared of the whiteness anymore..
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